Now What?
by DevilDogPrincess
Summary: Gippal is stuggling with the very thought of continuing life, Baralai is losig himself to alcohol, and poor Kymora loves them both. How will she choose? how can she help both of them? The answer may surprise you.
1. Chapter 1

Hey! So it's a big huge thing… all about drama. Abuse, fights, anger, all kinds of crazy… lots of tears. Kymora is betrothed to Baralai, but she truly loves Gippal, whom someone recently tried to kill. What she doesn't know is the torture they put him through… torture that made his 'passion' die. Rikku gave up. She couldn't even kiss him without him flinching. Now he's feeling worse than ever, and Baralai is secretly abusing alcohol and abusing poor Kymora, who doesn't have the heart to tell him what he does to her! I can feel the heat already.

Also, if you didn't know already, you will need an Al Bhed translator for my stories

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Gippal lay on the small wooden float, staring at the sky as he randomly drifted about the Bikanel Oasis. No one bothered him here. They knew to stay away.

I didn't stay away, though. I hid behind a stone formation and watched him. His bare chest glistened with sweat. I hated to admit that I wanted him, but he was single now. Rikku left him after the incident. Said it was too weird. Just like that.

_Poor Gippal…_ I thought. It was horrible what happened. They'd tried to kill him… two men… two men that Gippal had banished from the Al Bhed long before. Light lines, barely-there scars were all the evidence left… that and his quiet.

A tear fell from my eye when I thought about it. They try to kill him, and then... then Rikku leaves him.

I can hear a Machina approaching, and Gippal paddles towards shore.

Quickly, I scale down the rock face and try to keep him from seeing me, but I fall the last few feet and let out a cry of pain as my ankle twists a direction it's not supposed to go. I let out a cry and it's Gippal to the rescue.

This isn't good… not at all.

"Hey, It's Baralai's sweetheart." I can tell his smile is forced.

He helps me up and brings me back to Monyra, an Al Bhed city at the edge of the desert. I don't speak as he drives towards Baralai's place.

Baralai will not be pleased. He will not be pleased at all. No one knows the real Baralai. No one knows what he does to me… he is not sweet… he is not loving… he is not the Baralai I used to know. He lives his life in the bottom of a bottle. _And I leave mine under his fist._

I tell Gippal I can go inside myself, but he insists on helping me.

Into the miniature palace we went… Baralai liked to have a big home.

I beg Gippal to leave once we're inside, but it's too late, Baralai appears at the top of the stairs. "What's happened?"

"She twisted her ankle pretty bad… rock climbing out by the Oasis."

"Oh, are you all right, love?" I can smell his breath.. thank god.. no alcohol. He was so sweet when he was sober… and he never remembered the horrible things he did to me while he was drunk. I was so afraid to lose what little of the good side of him there was that I didn't have the heart to tell him what the alcohol did to him.

"I'll be okay… I think" I try to take a step and pain flares up my leg. I almost fall, but Baralai catches me. "It's alright, love… we'll get some ice on it." He turns to Gippal. "Thanks for bringing her home."

"No problem."

I watch Gippal's fake smile fade as soon as he turns away.

Baralai… my Baralai, the one I fell in love with, helps me to the couch and gets ice for my ankle. He kisses me on the cheek, again on the lips. "Kymora…" he smiles.

He doesn't even know… he doesn't even know that tonight he will drag me upstairs by my hair, that he will call me a slut and accuse me of trying to seduce Gippal. He doesn't know what he's like.

I try to stop it, but a tear rolls down my cheek. Baralai mistakes it for pain, and gently kisses it away. "I love you so much… I don't know what I'd do without you…"

I force a smile and he holds me.

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((((GIPPAL))))

It's everything I can do to keep the flashbacks at bay… and Rikku… what a _pedlr_ she was. It wasn't my fault what they did to me. Baralai is all happy with his lover… always talking about how perfect she is.

He was right, too. So beautiful, and a warm heart. She has no idea I knew she was watching me.

_Why does she seem afraid of Baralai… why did she want me to leave? _

I can't get those thoughts from my head. Something seemed wrong… but then, everything's wrong since…

It all hurts too much. I cannot even lead my people anymore. A council does all the work. I have lost touch with who I am.

"E ryda oui! E ryda ymm uv oui! Cusauha, bmayca, syga dra byeh ku yfyo... ed rindc cu pyt... bmayca... zicd dyga ed yfyo!" Tears stream down my face.

I cry every night, now. I scream and pound my fists on the walls and cry until I'm exhausted, only to fall into restless, fitful sleeps full of nightmares and flashbacks... and dreams of Rikku stabbing a knife in my back

"E ryda oui Rikku! Drana'c hudrehk mavd uv sa! Oui yna CRED du sa! Oui yna HUDREHK! e ryda oui!"

I scream until my throat aches and collapse on the bed, crying myself to sleep.

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((((KYMORA))))

"So do you wanna Fuck him, is that it!" Baralai's voice booms over my head and jars me from my nap. He's been drinking.

I sit up. "Lai… that's not it at all… please… just let me sleep…"

Too late. He's far past anything you could call reasonable at this point.

I stand, though my ankle throbs with pain in protest, and half run half limp as fast as I can, hoping to get into the spare room or a closet or something and lock the door til morning… however, I have no such luck.

Baralai catches my wrist and yanks me against him, tight. "You're a stupid bitch, you know that? I can't believe you would cheat on me… after everything I do for you… I moved to the damned Bikanel Desert for you, and THIS is the thanks I get? You slut after Gippal?"

"Lai, please let me go… my ankle.." I feel like my leg is on fire, and he's holding me so tight I can barely breathe.

"Don't worry, I don't feel like throwing you around tonight… I wanna play…" he kisses my ear.

I have mixed emotions about sex with Baralai when he's been drinking. On the good side, he's not hitting me or shoving me… however, it's all about him. When he's drunk, I never get mine, unless that's what's gonna get him going that night. He grabs my hair and leads me up the steps.

"Hurry up before I change my mind!" He growls.

In our room, he throws me onto the bed and literally rips off my clothing. He kisses me roughly and I slip my arms around him, hoping he passes out after the first one, so I can clean up and put new ice on my ankle.

I miss my Lai… I think of him as I lie in bed and pretend he isn't drunk. I pretend he's making love to me instead of just _fucking_ me.

And then I think of Gippal… Gippal has a longing in his eyes… he needs someone…

_How do I get away from Baralai? How can I let Gippal know I can help him?_

Baralai hits me. "Moan my name before I throw you down the stairs" he growls. I fake enjoyment for his sake, putting on a great show. When he finishes, he falls asleep, and I get in the shower.

The tears fall as fast as the shower water, and I wonder what to do. I miss my Lai, but I feel like I need Gippal… so now what?

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what do you think? Hey, a warning now on future chapters… there may be some semi-bi stuff to come…

all reviews welcome, including suggestions for this or other stories (as long as they include GIPPAL, Mmmm yumminess.) If you like to read stories but can't write them, and have an idea you would like done, just let me know!

PS-

HeartOfDragon is a great writer and she is my younger sister so pretty please read her stuff! She is, after all, the QUEEN OF RANDOM!

Also, please read Hiran, cuz she's an awesome writer too.


	2. The Setup

(((((KYMORA)))))

My heart is breaking. Baralai is still in bed, where he'll sleep of last night. I have to act quickly.

I head towards the door with my small purse of Gil and quietly lock it behind me. I have about 2 hours to get some Sphere cameras and install them in hidden places. I want Baralai to know what he's like when he drinks…. Maybe he'll get help. I really hope he will.

When I'm done installing the cameras, I'll leave again. Baralai thinks I'm working in the Desert today.

My Machina bike sits near the front walk and I drive it into town, to the Machine Shop.

(((((MYRAN)))))

As she leaves the house, I wait to make sure she's gone, then let myself in the back door. Baralai is waiting for me in the bedroom, and I immediately fall into his arms.

"Don't worry, my Myran. She'll be in that Desert all day, hunting for treasure. She has no idea what goes on here while she's gone" Baralai said as he leaned in to kiss me.

I kiss him back, and soon we are both naked, pressing against each other, kissing… He moans my name, I moan his… I can't get enough of Baralai, and he seems the same with me… I don't even understand why he's still with that Kymora girl.

After our third time, he takes me into the shower with him. I love the shower, and smile mischievously as I sink to my knees in front of him and his beautiful body.

(((((KYMORA)))))

Armed with 5 cameras, I begin to place them downstairs. One in the Dining room, one in the Living Room, one in the Kitchen. As I walk up the stairs to place one at the top and one in the bedroom, I hear the shower running and music playing in the bathroom.

_Damn, he's up! Better move fast!_

Quickly, I place the other two Camera's and leave. I wonder where Gippal might be today. Perhaps at the Oasis again? This time I won't get caught. I can't get caught.

(((((GIPPAL)))))

I notice the Oasis is especially nice today as I swim laps in it's shallow waters. For just a little while every day, it seems like the hurt is gone. I can cry in peace here. No one bothers me here. No one makes fun of me. The water is cool and soothing, and the sun bright and warm. Still, no matter how hot the Desert sun, I still feel so cold inside. I have this constant sick feeling. If Rikku, my love forever, couldn't understand, couldn't help me, who would?

I want so badly to move on, to love someone, but no one will understand me. They'll find it repulsive, like she did.

Out in the Desert to the east I see Kymora. She's digging in the sand, working…. I've never seen her work so much. It's not like she NEEDS to work. They have everything they could need, Kymora and Baralai. Still, I see her in the Desert more and more. she cries sometimes… I don't think she even knows she does it, since the tears dry so fast in this hot Sun. but I can hear her. I can her her sob.

I clamber back up onto my raft and stare at the clouds as they go by. I wish Kymora were with me. She seems to be so understanding and full of love… she would be my only hope for Love, but she's with Baralai.

I wonder if she is okay. Her sobbing, her fear of Baralai, her secrets… they make me wonder what's going on. I part of me hopes Baralai is messing up so she'll leave him, but I know she loves him too much. They'll work it out because they always do.

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(((((MYRAN)))))

As I got dressed to leave, Baralai began drinking, as he did every time. He wouldn't tell me why, though. Once he started drinking, I knew it was time to leave. He was a mean drunk. He hugged me loosely before I left, but said nothing. _My poor Baralai _I thought, _what has she done to you?_

(((((BARALAI)))))

When Myran left I got another bottle from under the bed. I don't know why I do this. Every time Myran comes over, I regret it afterwards…. Poor Kymora loves me so much… she does so much to keep me happy. She doesn't even know what I do when she's gone. I want to stop so bad, but I can't. It's like I'm addicted. I don't _LOVE_ Myran…. Not like I love Kymora… but how can I get help? It all hurts too much.

I chug the bottle and dig for another. At least the alcohol makes the pain go away for a little while…. I love you, Kymora….

(((((KYMORA)))))

When I was sure he'd seen me digging and looked away, I made my way the long way around to the cliff once again. This time, I got a well-hidden spot so I wouldn't have to move when he left. I watched him as tears rolled down his cheeks. I listened as he cursed Rikku. Then, I watched him Mouth… was that.. he said Kymora! He said my name! So he really DOES think about me…. Oh Gippal… you poor sweet soul, Just tell me you want me and I'm all yours….

I spend the day watching as he drifts, cries, swims, and drifts again. I wait for 10 minutes after he leaves, then make my way down to the ground and head towards home.

Tomorrow, I'll have to fast forward through a lot of the Sphere. I had to leave them on record all day because I won't have a chance to turn them on when I get home. A few tears roll down my cheeks, half in regret, half in joy. Tonight will be the last time Baralai beats me, because tomorrow he sees the Spheres…


	3. Myran is a WHAT?

Okay ladies and gents, begin the Drama. Some surprises in this chapter, and will Gippal and Kymora realize their feelings are mutual?

you'll need an albhed translator for this chapter. just go to Google and search "Al hed Translator" (make sure you leave it in quotes) and the first option should be the right one!

I'm open to suggestion as to where the story should go after this point. keep in mind, Kymora still loves Gippal, and Gippal is infatuated with her, but very emotional. Rikku may not be completely gone, either... just because she left Gippal, doesn't mean she's not interested in someone else... please submit me some ides, thanks

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(((((GIPPAL)))))

Myran is sitting in front of my place when I get home, no doubt wondering when I may hire him for more odd jobs around the place, or perhaps just seeking conversation. I invite him in and as him to sit.

"I was talking to Baralai today. I think he and Kymora are having problems"

I can't believe he just said that… I hate that I hope it's true… that maybe she'd leave him for me… but she'd never tolerate my screaming in the night… my strange dreams….

I try to push those memories away and respond to Myran. "What do you mean by problems?"

"Well, Baralai drinks all the time, and says he's not good enough for Kymora… I think she's hurting him… I think we should break them up…"

The perfect cover… say I'm worried they're hurting each other… go along with Myran… then, when they're broken up, console poor Kymora… Hmmmm…

"I see what you're saying… tell me more…"

Oh, I pray this works…

(((((KYMORA)))))

I'm going to bed early. I could smell alcohol in the air as soon as I got home, and I just know Baralai's in a bad mood. I love him, and I hate to sink to this level… but I don't know how else to tell him. I just hope I can get some sleep before he comes up here.

NEXT MORNING

(((((MYRAN)))))

Gippal is so screwed up in the head that he actually thinks this is a good idea… and now Baralai will be mine for always. Now, I won't have to leave in quiet, live with my love a secret.

This morning, Gippal and I will head over to the lovely home of Baralai and Kymora. By the end of the day, it will be the home of Baralai and Myran.

(((((BARALAI)))))

She doesn't know I'm up yet. I noticed that she was extra quiet when she left the bed… so she must be up to something. I watched as she took a camera from an empty vase in the room, and now I don't know whether to be nervous or angry. Straining to hear over my pounding headache, I hear sounds of her recovering more cameras from the stairs and the floor below. Once I hear her settle down in front of the sphere screen, I make my way as quietly as I can and watch where I hope she won't see me.

Sphere by sphere, I watch her fast-forward through our daily routine, until she gets to the camera from the dining room. She stops and plays the sphere at normal speed, and I hold back a gasp at what I see. The sphere shows me beating her… hard. It shows me throwing her around the room. Tears pour down her cheeks as she records just this part onto another sphere, and finds the same thing on the Sphere from the stairs.

I can't believe this is me hurting her… I never remember what I do when I drink… but I thought I just passed out… why didn't she say anything?

Oh god… the one in the bedroom! I watch in silent horror as she presses play, and see the utter sadness and disgust in her face when she sees what's on it.

"E ryda oui! Ur kut, Baralai, oui icamacc beala uv Lrulupu cred! Fedr y syh! Fedr Myran! Ur Baralai, fryd tet E ajan tu du oui pid muja oui? E GHUF oui'na drana! E lyh caa ouin navmaldeuh, oui fundrmacc bedevim aqlica vun y syh! E ryda oui!"

I'm crying myself, and I sit down beside her. Surprisingly, she holds onto me, tight. "This isn't you, Baralai… what's wrong with you? What's wrong with my Lai?" she sobs heavily in my lap. I search for words, but I can't find them. I don't know why I even sleep with Myran… it's like… something tells me I have to… it's like it's someone else. And with everything else, seeing me hit her… I hate him. I drink because of him, and I hit her because I drink.

She looks up at me and I see bruises all over her face. "I cover it up… I cover it up with a make-up I make from the desert sand. I didn't know how to tell you what you do… and…. I know…. I know Myran… that's not you… what is he doing to you? How could you let yourself be fooled?"

As she cries, I find tears pouring down my face as well, and I kiss her cheek. I wish I knew what was going on…

(((((GIPPAL)))))

We knock on the door, but there's no answer, so Myran leads us inside. I can hear crying in the living room, and see the glow of a sphere player. There they are, Baralai and Kymora, crying in each other's arms. On the screen there are scenes of Myran and Baralai together, and of Baralai beating Kymora in a drunken rage. The evidence of the abuse is on Kymora's face, though she still mumbles her pet name for Baralai to him over and over…

"Lai…. My Lai… "

Myran interrupts them without a care, oblivious to the fact that I no longer have any intention of following any plan by his hand.

He places his hand on Baralai's shoulder and Baralai releases Kymora and stands.

Kymora, angrily stands next to him. She hadn't realized we were there. You could see fire in her eyes.

"Oui'na robhudewehk res! Dryd nehk! ed'c y Pmuut Unlret Nipo!" Kymora takes the ring right off his finger and smashes it to bits. As soon as she does so, Baralai collapses to the ground.

"Oui... oui tacanja du nud eh ramm! Ruf tyna oui dinh cilr y kahdma syh ehdu fryd oui tet! Oui yna camvecr yht fundrmacc du dra Al Bhed yht du Spira! E cruimt gemm oui rana, frana oui cdyht! Oui yna dra mufacd uv camvecr clis. oui yna mufan dryh dra cred uv y sykkud dryd vaatc uh Lrulupu tnubbehkc! Pa kuha vnus rana pavuna E nasaspan frana e mavd so cfunt!"

Myran leaves in fear, but I'm sure he will return. Meanwhile, I help Kymora tend to Baralai. Deep inside, I think _I can't believe I'm helping them stay together._


End file.
